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Flower Bribes
One Friday, two women were sitting and talking. One woman looked up and saw her husband coming down the street with a bunch of flowers in his hand.
She rolled her eyes and said, �There comes the asshole with flowers in his hand. Now he'll expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air.�
Her friend promptly replied, �Don't you have a vase?� |
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Man at the Bar
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend, he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in June, and left me $10,000." said the friend. "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in July," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $50,000." The man looking concerned says, "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." The friend continues, "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months??? How sad!!!" "Then this month,..." continued, the friend, "Nothing! Not a single dime!" said the man crying...
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Mr.Clark and the court judge
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair, your honor." the husband said "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself!". |
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